All Days of Arda

Written By: Laureic
You can read the Original Here:
All Credit goes to the Original Author

All Days of Arda...

It has been many years know. Is it not strange that it has been so long and still I cry for you. Is it not strange that I cannot let go, that I cannot find peace, even when I know you have found it. I still think of you almost every day, looking back on all the memories of when we were little with not a care in the world. They did not last long these carefree days, soon we were torn from our home and family. And yet you were always there. You let me cry on your shoulder when I was sad. You would be the first to make me laugh no matter what happened, no matter how much you were hurting. You made everything better and for a long time after you were gone, the world seemed a much darker place, I still does. Sometimes when I am alone I think of all I have seen and lost and when no one can see me, I cry for you. My thoughts will lead me to you, always.

I regret not seeing you on your deathbed, not being there when you needed my shoulder to cry on, me to make everything better. And then I feel as if I have failed you, as if I was not the brother I should have been, the brother you were. Yet somewhere deep inside, I know, I would have lamented coming to you even more. To see you grow old and wither away while I remained the same, to see your pale and drawn face as you breathed your last, it would have been a burden to both of us. It would have been a curse that would have haunted me for all my days, eternity. I remember you as you were when I last saw you, a memory that is most precious to me, as much as it pains me. You were strong and tall, you were young still, even in your human form. You smiled and then I smiled. And for the first time my smile wasn’t a happy one, but…neither was yours.

I never denied you your happiness, never think I did, no matter how much I begged you to stay. I was still young and I was selfish, but can you truly blame me for not wanting to lose my brother. All I can do now is hope that you found the happiness you were looking for, the happiness you did not find here, as much as it hurts to say. I can only hope that you lived long and in peace, surrounded by people you loved, and that you did not blame me for not being there. I can only hope that we will meet again in whatever lies beyond, and there you will tell me of your happiness and I will tell you of mine. And there you will smile and I will smile and everything will be OK. Is it not strange tha...

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And he could write no further for it hurt too much