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Dol Amroth 3019 TA – the evening before the Swan Knights left for Minas Tirith
A fire burned low, it was the only source of light in the room. Through the open high windows voices could be heard, but the young woman sitting in a comfortable chair by the fire didn’t seem to notice. She had her eyes fixed on the glowing light from the coal, humming softly a lullaby to a sleeping child in her arms. Her long black hair was plaited back from her face giving her an almost catlike appearance. Tears glistered in her dark blue eyes; one spilled over and fell down her cheek. The lullaby had come to an end and she pulled the child closer to her chest in an attempt to draw some comfort from its peaceful sleep.
“How will I manage without him?” She whispered into the child’s dark hair, her shoulders shaking with tears she fought not to shed.
She didn’t hear the large door open nor see the tall man walking in. He stood still just watching his wife and son, letting ever detail of them being burned into the memory of his heart. Slowly he began to make his way across the wooded floor, his feet making no sound. Reaching the chair were she sat, kneeling in front of her, he saw the tears now falling freely down her face and reached for the sleeping child. Without a word he took the child in his arms and carried it into the nursery. In there he carefully put the child down in the beautiful and rich decorated bed, bent and kissed its brow while putting the blanket securely around the little body.
“Sleep well, my son. May Elbereth protect you and give you a blessed lift.” He said silently into the dark. After stroking the dark head one last time he turned and went back to the larger room. For a moment he paused in the doorway looking back into the child’s room.
“Remember me!”
He whispered and his own sea-gray eyes filled with tears. He wiped them away, closed the door, carefully leaving a little crack and went to his wife.
She was crying openly now, her whole body shaking with sobs. He picked her up and placed her on his knee in the chair. For how long they sat there neither of them knew but the fire had almost died completely when she suddenly spoke.
“I love you, you know that and I need you to come back to me, Elphir, I know I’m being childish and selfish but I need you. I can’t raise our children alone, they need their father … please don’t go. Stay… stay with us. We can go away, just the three of us, well four…” putting his hand over her flat belly she turned in his arms with a sad smile, “I’m begging you not as your wife but as the mother of your children.”
He looked at her belly and then at her face.
“I ride to war in the morning and you tell me you’re with child?” He said, not willing to believe her words.
With an angry sigh she rose from his lap and moved to look at the bright stars outside the windows. She crossed her arms in front of her body.
“Is that all you can say?” she asked, not taking her eyes from the sky, “I beg you to stay and you question if I’m telling the truth about your child.”
“I’m not questioning you, I’m surprised…” he answered and went over to the chimney, he bent down and put another log on the fire before continuing, “I thought you said you didn’t want another child?”
“I had gone through labor and I was exhausted, you’re not still holding that against me, are you?” she asked, slowly turning towards him.
He had rose and was moving across the floor, taking her hand and pulling her into his chest.
“You through me out of our bed for over a year, you told me never to touch you again.”
“Yes, but I changed my mind, didn’t I … and now I’m with child again.”
“Why did you?” he asked.
“Become with child?” she said mocking his words.
“No!” he smiled into her hair, “through me out of our bed?” he felt her go stiff in his arms but didn’t relinquish his hold on her and give her a change to pull away “Tirin, I’m off to war, you own me an explanation.”
She was silent for so long he almost thought she forgot his question and then he felt her take a deep breath.
“I’m sorry!” she begun, “I know I hurt you, but I looked at my body while I were still with Alphros and I saw a hideous creature in the mirror, I were fat and had blemishes in my face, over my belly red marks were shining where my skin had stretched to fare. How could you possibly want to share my bed?” She stopped and he waited feeling there were more to be said. “Then I had Alphros, I suppose I were naïve to believe my body would turn back to the way it was, but it didn’t. My belly was just like a loose sack of potatoes and my hair started to fall off. Nothing I did seem to get ride of the weight I put on and everywhere were these beautiful women throwing themselves at you. You walked around with the appearance of a coq in a henhouse, looking better than ever and I, I looked like a troll.” She tried to tear away from his arms but he held her firmly.
“A troll!” he said, when she stopped struggling, “I’ve fought trolls and trust me you have never looked anything like one of them.”
She closed her eyes and tried to remember why she pushed him out of her life in the first place but it felt so good having his arms around her, his sent filling her senses, his strength making her knees tremble. As she tried to move in closer to him he picked her up and walked over to the chair by the fire. He sat down placing her in his knee.
“Now, why did you take me back?” He asked, surprised to find that he almost were afraid of her answer.
“I needed you, I missed you.” She slowly answered. “But it was a conversation I head between lady Wilwarien and Lothiriel that made me realize how stupid I were.” She took another deep breath and continued, “Lady Wilwarien”, she spat out the name, “were boosting that it wouldn’t be long before you were in her bed, she said you were to much of a man to live alone, Lothiriel told her that she was plain stupid if she believed that. You loved me to much too even consider touching Wilwarien. Her words made think, maybe you did love me and since I pushed you away it was up to me to put things right. I know you married me because your father and min thought it to be a good aliens, but I fell for you the first time I saw you riding in to Edhellon. You were so handsome and I couldn’t believe you were to be my husband. How could I possibly be of interest to you? When I heard Lothiriel say that you loved me, I decided to fight for you. I begun carrying more about my appearance and I asked you back into our bed.” She felt her face blush and hid it on his shoulder.
Elphir let out a long sigh and tightened his hold on her.
“I married you because I wanted to, not because of an alliance.” He said. “You are beautiful and I only find you more beautiful knowing that you have given me a healthy son.” He kissed her head, cupped her chin and lifted her face to him and kissed her tenderly. When they broke apart she had tears in her eyes.
“I can’t believe we wasted all those years, why didn’t we just tell each other how we felt in the beginning?” She whispered, looking into his eyes. “And now I’m risking loosing you.”
“Beloved, you won’t loose me, whatever happens I’ll live through our children.” He claimed he lips again and the world disappeared around them. They broke apart at the sound of a child’s cry.
“I’ll go.” He said with a smile. “Why don’t you get ready for bed so I can show you how much I love you?” He added with a wicked gaze. She giggled, moved up from his knee and watched him walk into the nursery.
“Now, little man, why are you awake?” She heard him ask before she went over to her dressing table and started to comb out her hair. As she stood up and reached back to untie her dress she felt his hands stopping her.
“Why don’t you let me do that?” His deep voice said into her ear, sending shivers down her spine as he bent to kiss her exposed neck.
“I love you!” Was all she managed to say before the world went away again and his arms were all that remained.
She woke the next morning alone in the large bed. Rolling over and hugging his pillow she could sense his smell. Smiling softly to herself, she remembered the night before. A small voice from the nursery woke her from her reverie.
“Mamma!”
“Coming darling!” She replied, throwing a robe on her. “Hi, little man, what would you like to do today?” She asked moving around the nursery, opening windows to let the sun in. Turing to the boy with a smile, her eyes fell on the dresser. A single red rose laid there with a note, her hand trembling as she picked it up. Taking a deep breath she read:
Your love will carry me home!
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